If I asked your wife if she loved you, she would probably tell me that she loves you, but that she is not in-love with you.
Regardless of what has gone on in your marriage up to this point, this is the main obstacle to your reconciling.
Instead, you will need to start to get to know her again, just as if you were interested in her for the first time.
For many men, this is hard because they have forgotten what it is like to woo and date a woman, especially a woman who has no interest in them.
As her husband, you need to ask yourself the question, “If I had been feeling depressed, hopeless, and empty in my marriage, and now feel hopeful about a fresh start, how easily would I change my mind?
Because you had no clue, it seemed to you like the marriage was going along pretty well.
She doesn’t want to have to keep remembering that again and again.
You may have noticed your wife being puzzled about your wanting to save the marriage and your persistence.
If you fight her on her ideas for the future, all you will do is shut her down when you need to open her up.
If you do it well, it will increase her interest in talking with you, although she will still not want to reconcile with you.
The most she can figure out about it is that you need her for your own reasons and don’t really care what happens to her.